(MSC News)--A Kansas State University expert on military families says military spouses may not wear uniforms or enter combat, but they deserve appreciation for their sacrifices.
Professor of family studies and human services and director of the Institute for the Health and Security of Military Families in the College of Human Ecology, Briana Nelson Goff, says a lot of military spouses have careers and face a number of challenges when their spouse is deployed.
“Moving is one issue, being a single parent – for nine, 12 or more months – having to balance the family demands, and then if you’re also working, those demands, and then the transitions, but then also just what goes along with being at war.”
After finding out their partner is deploying, military spouses go through several phases. This includes the preparation phase, the deployment, their spouse’s return – which often includes 30 days of leave, and then their spouse returning to a regular work schedule. Goff says the transition can be especially difficult for some service members.
“We know from the data that about one in five veterans will experience post-traumatic stress disorder, but we also know a larger percentage will experience some kind of post-traumatic stress symptoms. Now, I won’t say that every veteran will experience it, but I think when you talk about it, they recognize the reactions that maybe they have.”
Goff says one of the biggest myths or misconceptions about military spouses is that the military is providing all their services and taking care of all their needs.
“For a lot of our families, they’re pretty isolated. So, I think that assumption or presumption that they’re a military family so everything’s taken care of, I don’t need to reach out or I don’t need to do anything to support them, is oftentimes a inaccurate assumption that people make.”
Military Appreciation Day in the U.S. is observed each year on the Friday before Mother’s Day. Goff says it’s important to recognize that everybody in the family serves.
“The kids are serving, the spouse is serving. So they may not be deployed, but they’re serving their country as well, and so we often focus on just military service members – which is important, but there’s also an extended network of individuals who are impacted.”
During a deployment, it’s common for military families to feel like they’re on an emotional roller coaster. Goff says doing things that provide a sense of normalcy is helpful. “You know, once a month have the spouse over, have a meal or you have extra food , here’s some extra food. So, just being able to bring some normalcy, and I think that’s a really difficult thing because we’re all so busy, we all have so many things that need to be done. But again, just taking that extra time to recognize the military spouse and the kids, as well, and what they’re going through.”
Most military service members don’t see themselves as heroes. They see themselves as someone who is just doing their job. Goff says one of the best ways to thank them for their service is to sit down with them and listen to their stories.
